Being Alive
I’ve had around 3 near-death experiences my entire life, all of them health-related. This past week, I came pretty close to my 4th.
High Pain Tolerance is my superpower. It started two weeks ago during concert week. It was just a small pain on my right cheek at first, intermittently happening. By middle of the week, it had swollen considerably but because I’m one of those people who can tolerate the pain, I kept on going. I couldn’t stop; I had many things I was responsible for. I’m not one to immediately reach for OTC meds but the only way I got through my concert was by popping Advil throughout the day (I got up to about 6). And then I rewarded myself with a big piece of steak afterwards because I was about ready to pass out due to exhaustion, pain, and hunger. And then of course I had to wake up early the following day to sing in church, and I kept on going on and on until the following week.
High Pain Tolerance is my curse. Fast forward to two weeks after that first “ouch”, and I found myself in my doctor’s office being told that I needed to have emergency surgery within the next few days. Well, it finally happened yesterday and I couldn’t be more grateful. Due to factors beyond my control, it went down in my doctor’s office instead of the OR, which meant I wasn’t sedated.
Yes, I was awake that entire time. No tears, no screams. All my senses were activated. I definitely heard all the whooshes of the thread as my doctor sewed up the wound. Both doctor and nurse marveled at how I was such a “rockstar” throughout all that. High Pain Tolerance is my superpower, remember? But then, remember that it is also my curse, and that’s how I ended up there.
I’m in so much relief right now, albeit with a drain in my cheek and the need to redress the wound each day. Inconvenient, yes, but no pain–which I will take anytime! And throughout all this, I had many people checking in and volunteering to help. I had to back out of engagements and people were so understanding, and found ways to manage without me. It was a wonderful reminder that I’m not alone and that there are those who will rally behind me.
What are my thoughts throughout this ordeal?
Prioritize your needs. Other things can wait.
As soon as there’s pain, stop, don’t ignore, assess, go to the doctor.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
Accept help when it is being offered. Don’t think of it as inconveniencing people.
Accept the “forced rest”. Maybe this was the only way to make you slow down.
What about you? Do you bear the pain until you can no longer do so? If you do and have undergone a similar experience, what have you learned?
